Friday, July 10, 2015

If Horse Blog Posts Had Clickbait Titles

I can't be the only person who is wildly, irrationally annoyed by clickbait titles, right? You know, the ones that one aunt/cousin/high school friend posts every 20 minutes? I see one on Facebook and I want to throw things across the room. They're just so obnoxiously sensationalist.

So I've been trying to fight internet idiocy with humor, and over the last few weeks have played a little game with myself, trying to come up with horse blog posts titles a la Buzzfeed (or Upworthy or any of the other nausea-inducing fake news websites out there, hi yes, I'm a snob).

Anyway.

Here are a few I've come up with.
She Thought She Had Packed Everything for Her Show - You'll Never Believe What She Forgot!
They Took A Long Spot - What Happened Next Will Take Your Breath Away!
6 New Half Pad Trends You Have to See to Believe!
3 Simple Steps to the Perfect Topline - Overnight!
Only '90s Kids Will Understand: Do You Remember These Trends in Breeches?
You Won't Believe These Galloping Boots Until You See Them in Action
This Shocking New Hunter Derby Jump Changes Everything
5 Examples of Mismatched Tack That Will Make You Lose Faith in Humanity
This Is The Most Important Photo of a Horse Standing In Its Field You'll See All Day
That's all I've got for now. Any more from you all?

12 comments:

  1. THANK YOU for helping me not feel alone! Hahaha...I *hate* those clickbait titles!

    ReplyDelete
  2. “Wait and see how this pushy horse show mom got her comeuppance!”
    “Help, I need 100 likes to save these sweet rescue horses!”
    “Quiz: Which supplement is best for my horse?” (*post sponsored by SmartPak)
    “My horse is so athletic and talented and sexy, so what’s his f*ing problem?”
    “This clinician will change your mind about everything!” (*post is 5,000 words long, no pictures)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Quiz: Which supplement are YOU?" (*sponsored by SmartPak)

      I am obviously a weight gainer.

      Delete
  3. I don't like those; they are real annoying. Your's are hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  4. "This person gathers together a list of can't miss hilarious titles (you laugh out loud at #3!)."

    But seriously. <3

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ha!! Yes. Absolutely.

    My #3 facebook rule is to never click on clickbait. (1# is if you post selfies, I block you and #2 is the same only with human baby pictures).

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahahah hilarious! So true!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting! It's great to hear from you.