Getting ready

I am so very bad at waiting. Truly awful. I want to be doing instead of anticipating.

I am making lists - packing lists, medical history lists, lists of questions to ask.

I keep thinking I should send him with something. When our dogs went for surgery we sent them with blankets that smelled like home. Horses don't really think like that but I keep returning to the thought over and over. There's nothing, really. Hay and grain and water, halter and lead rope. No toys or stuffed animals or blankets.

I groomed him nose to tail last night, combed all the snarls from his name, trimmed his bridle path, curried the scurf from his belly. I kept thinking, what if I lose him on Monday? In the macro sense this is routine and will be handled by good, competent people. In the micro sense, I couldn't bear it. I would lose my mind.

I hate waiting.