You know what I suck at? Waiting. I'm great at planning, I'm great at figuring all the tiny little details out but then when I'm left waiting for everything to come together, for all the pieces I've put in play to line up, I start to fret and twitch and basically lose my mind bit by bit.
Which is my way of saying that last night I basically cycled between nightmares about a big program I have coming up at work and Tristan's vet appointment tomorrow.
I would like to ride my horse again someday, universe. Even if all we ever do is trail riding, I would just like to sit on his back again. I'm trying not to get desperate, but it's really hard to watch him limp around each time I go visit and still not quite know why. It's hard to have all these hopes and plans for the way we'll fix it but not have any level of confidence in whether they'll work out.
(A friend's horse just got over an abscess in a week and is sound again and I am so jealous and maybe a little bit bitter and a horrible person for being either, but I can't figure out where I went wrong somewhere in this whole mess.)